Haddock, Hiccup Haddock
by RedLegoManiac
Summary: Dragged to a bar by some of his friends to celebrate a promotion, Hiccup Haddock consequently has to play a game of truth of dare, and the dare involves a certain blonde woman.


All character ages will be around 24-25

One Shot… or Martini.

The local bar was nearly empty, a few individuals sat at the bar, and across the establishment in the booths a group of four were celebrating a friend's promotion to restaurant manager. An auburn haired man ordered a round of drinks for him and his friends, the same guys he had been with since High School.

"Cheers, Mates," One of them said with a british accent, "To Hiccup, may he forever be more successful than the rest of us. God knows how much you've worked for it."

A blonde man sitting across from the man with a british accent immediately raised his glass, "cheers!"

The last friend, a cousin technically, raised his glass, "you're already doing better than us." He muttered, making the others laugh and together the four men chugged down their draft beers.

"Thanks for the doctor's note, Eret, I can't believe my dad bought the excuse." Hiccup said, leaning back in the booth as the man with a british accent nodded.

"If anyone deserves a day off, it's you man." The blonde, Tuffnut, stated having just finished chugging his beverage. "How do you do it?" He asked, putting his elbows up on the booth's table.

"I-I don't know, I just… do it. Running a restaurant can be difficult but I've already gotten used to it." Hiccup said hesitantly and downed his drink. Dragon's Edge was a popular burger joint, having been found three generations ago by Henrik Haddock the Second, Henrik Haddock the Third's great grandfather, who passed it down to Old Wrinkly Haddock, who then passed it down to Stoick Haddock, who had recently passed it down to Henrik Haddock the Third.

The stocky man must have just gotten an idea, immediately sticking a hand in the air with an excited smile, "So, family discounts are a thing,right?"

Eret laughed. "Mate, if I'm not getting a discount for saving Hiccup's life, then you're not getting a discount either." Hiccup reached under the table, tapping a metal shaft where his lower left leg should've been. "Sorry, Mate."

"It's fine, at least you didn't have to take both legs." He said, placating his friend's guilt for making the joke. Close to three years prior, Hiccup was involved in a car accident that forced the doctor on standby, who happened to be Eret, to amputate his leg. The bones and muscles were smashed and torn beyond repair, so it had to be done. He continued to answer Snotlout's question, "no, family discounts are not a thing."

"I think Uncle Stoick is just happy to get on with retirement." Snotlout muttered. "The man bought a yacht for Pete's sake."

"A real yacht?" Tuffnut asked curiously, "is he looking for crew members?" The others shared a glance and answered 'no' together, knowing of Tuffnut's and by extension his twin Ruffnut's more… explosive tendencies. A degree in pyrotechnics wouldn't suffice as experience on a very expensive and flammable boat.

The night drew on, as did the number of drinks each man had except for Hiccup, knowing that a hangover in the morning would not be in any way preferable. Snotlout began slurring his words by the third mug of mead, and drunkenly asked to play truth or dare.

Tuffnut began laughing, realizing that Snotlout was still a lightweight even after years of drinking together. "Sure, sure, I'm down for a game of truth or dare."

"I can't believe you're still this childish." Hiccup mumbled.

"C'mon, what's one game going to do?" Eret asked rhetorically, and called a waitress for another round of drinks. The waitress came around with another set of cold beers. "Thank you, Miss."

The raven haired woman smiled, her name tag reading 'Heather.' "Who's celebrating?" She asked good naturedly, noticing Snotlout begin to drool a little, and was thus a tiny bit creeped out.

"I am," Hiccup answered with a smile, then threw a napkin at Snotlout, "forgive my cousin… he doesn't know how to hold his alcohol." He said, ignoring the indignant cry from the said male.

Heather laughed, "Just be sure he gets home safe."

"We will, Miss. He is in the capable hands of a doctor." Eret said, placing his elbows on the table and clasping his hands together. Heather smirked as she took the empty bottles and shot glasses off the table, placing them on the serving tray and then walking off.

Eret kept his eyes trained on her for a few seconds longer than normal, only taking his eyes off her when Hiccup pushed him slightly.

"Alright, who wants to go first?" Tuff asked, leaning back into the corner of the booth. When no one answered, he spoke, "Alright, Snot. Truth or Dare?"

Snotlout glanced at him before taking another sip. "Dare."

"Go up to the bar, and sing while dancing to 'I'm a little teapot' Tuffnut proclaimed with a smirk which caused Snotlout to shudder. The stocky man stood up, keeping a hand on the table to steady himself before walking up to the bar where a large blonde man was wiping the inside of a mug with a towel.

" _I'm a little teapot_ _Short and stout_ " Snotlout sang as the other customers began laughing. " _Here is my handle Here is my spout_ " Snotlout sang while putting a hand on his hip and gesturing in the air with the other. " _When I get all steamed up I just shout_ " Snotlout sang, voice cracking, as he began to sway. " _Tip me over and pour me out_ " Snotlout then promptly fell sideways. Snotlout managed to right himself and then returned to his table where all the others were clutching their stomachs in laughter.

"Oh Thor, Loki, and Matilda." Tuffnut exclaimed. "I think Snotlout just won open mic."

"Tuffnut." Hiccup said with exasperation. "They don't have open mic night here and who the hell is Matilda?"

"My dear aunt Matilda, a more insane yet functional person than I." Tuffnut answered as he relived a fond memory. "Oh like the time auntie Matilda, Ruff, and I went canoeing to the megamall."

Eret looked up from his phone, furrowing his brows. "Was that the time Secondary was let out because of severe flash floods?"

"It's called highschool, ye Brit." Snotlout stated, his accent becoming more pronounced because of the alcohol.

"And no. it was during the Summer heatwave." Tuffnut corrected.

"You know. I don't even wanna know." Eret muttered while shaking his head, still not used to the twins antics, even after nearly a decade of knowing each other. "Who goes next?" He asked.

Snotlout held up a hand, then looked towards the bar again. "Alright, Eret," he hiccuped, "see that blonde? Go tell her a pick up line."

Hiccup sighed, and stood up to let Eret out of the booth, and the British man walked to the bar. He leaned on the bar, resting an elbow there as the group watched, and heard him say, "pardon me, Miss, but do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes."

To their surprise, the blonde woman had no response to Eret's bravado and delivery of the pick-up line, and the guys gaped as she rolled her eyes and ignored him.

Eret returned with his head down. "That should have worked..." He muttered, then got an idea involving a certain Haddock. "Hiccup, truth or dare?" He turned to face Hiccup, but found he was gone. "Where'd he go?"

"Bathroom." Tuffnut answered.

"Huh. Snotlout, truth or dare."

"Dare." He said with conviction.

Eret gently pointed a finger to the blonde woman that had rejected him. "I dare you to go tell her a pick-up line."

"But that's what I dared you to do!" Snotlout exclaimed, but was easily persuade to do it anyways with the promise of Eret buying the next round of drinks. So, in his not so sober stupor, he stood up, and walked towards the bar, doing the same as Eret. He leaned on the bar with one elbow, and asked whilst wiggling his eyebrows, "Do you believe in love at first sight—or should I walk by again?"

Hiccup had just returned to the table. "What'd I mi-" His question was silenced by a sharp crack, and the group of guys turned towards the bar where Snotlout was holding his cheek and pouting.

Snotlout returned to the table with his head hung low. "Dude are you crying?" Tuffnut asked, and Snot feebly shook his head.

"No-my eyes are sweating." Yet he sniffled, and broke into a full sob, Hiccup arched a brow.

"Take him to the restroom, will you?" He asked Eret, seeing as he was the only person strong enough to half-carry the stocky man. Hiccup stood up again to let Eret out, and the british man wrapped one of Snotlout's arms over his shoulder. Eret took Snotlout to the restroom, and Hiccup and Tuffnut watched them for a few seconds, then turned around as a certain blonde female twin entered the restroom, clamping a hand over Eret's mouth and dragged him to the women's restroom, then locking the door.

"So what was Ruff doing tonight?" Hiccup asked Tuff to make conversation.

"She said something about going out with a friend, no idea who though." Tuff answered after a swig. "You haven't gone yet." He reminded Hiccup… "Truth or Dare Mr. Haddock."

"Gah, dare. And don't call me Mr. Haddock, you make me sound like my Dad."

"I dare you…" Feeling very original, Tuffnut dared Hiccup, "to go use your one legged bravado and secure that woman's name." Tuffnut gestured to the same woman who ignored Eret… and slapped Snotlout.

"Why her?" Hiccup asked, seeing the woman glance their way, they made eye contact for a split second. Her sky blue gaze piercing while emerald green eyes were nervous.

"Do you see any other girls here? Look, ten bucks if you get her name, twenty if you get her number as well."

"I-Heather seems nice." He tried to change the target girl, but Tuffnut shook his head as Heather walked by again.

"Sorry, I'm taken." She remarked, refilling the basket of fries.

"Oh." Hiccup mumbled, resigning himself to his fate. Whatever, its been awhile, what could happen? He looked over to the blonde woman again, noticing the pocketknife clip at her pocket. ' _I could get stabbed. No worries.'_ Hiccup looked at Tuffnut again, who was grinning and made a pushing motion with his hands.

The auburn haired man stood, trailing his fingers along the table as he stepped away from the safety of the booth. He glanced around, realizing that if she did indeed embarrass him, not that many people would witness it. Hiccup strode up to the bar, placed his left arm on it, and spoke with the smoothest tone he could muster, "I'll have a martini… Shaken, not stirred." He glanced at the woman, noticing her piercing blue eyes narrowing. "And anything milady here would like."

The bartender arched a brow, knowing where the line was from, but said nothing. He mixed the drink, and served it after spearing two olives with a plastic sword, then looked to the blonde woman.

"I'll have a jagerbomb." She said, then asked, "What's your name?" The bartender mixed the drink and slid it to her, then resorted back to wiping another glass with a clean towel.

"Haddock, Hiccup Haddock."

"And you're not going to try a pick-up line on me?"

"I-uh… I don't know any good pick up lines, and I'd rather not get slapped." Hiccup paused for a moment, turning to meet her gaze. "But, I might say one if you don't give me your name."

"I'll give you my name if it's a good one." She said, wondering where her friend was. This was why she needed a wingwoman, to get the guys off her.

"Alright… Has anyone told you what's wrong with you today?" Hiccup put on a stern face, which took her aback.

"No." She stated, narrowing her eyes.

Hiccup had a wry smile after putting down his martini. "Good, because there's not a damn thing wrong."

The woman snorted, "try again."

Hiccup got a bit nervous and said the first thing that popped in his head. "My friends dared that I couldn't talk to the prettiest girl here. Wanna use their money to buy drinks?"

"And what did you have to get from me to win this dare of yours?"

"Just your name." Hiccup said.

She turned to him after taking a sip of her drink. "My name's Astrid."

Hiccup would have to thank his father for enrolling him in a Nordic Linguistics class. "Divine Beauty..." He murmured, their faces inches apart, and she blushed as well, her blue eyes twinkling in the dim light of the bar.

He turned his back to Tuffnut, giving a thumbs up that Astrid couldn't see. The mood was ruined when the bathroom door crashed open, and Eret flopped out, utterly disheveled and terrified. Hiccup noticed red smudges on his cheeks and neck, and a wild blonde woman chased after him.

"Eret!? Ruff?!" Hiccup questioned loudly, and Astrid stared at him.

"You know my friend?"

"I'm friends with her brother." He explained shortly, then noticed that Ruffnut was now dragging a squirming and pleading Eret to her car. "How does that woman move so fast?!"

"I don't know, but that was my ride." Astrid said.

They stared as the car drove off, then Hiccup got an idea. "I-uh, I could give you a ride, if you'd like."

Astrid looked at Hiccup while tapping her chin. "And you won't use another pick-up line?"

"Only if milady wants me to…" He trailed off at the open ended question. "Sounds good. Let's have my friends pay for our drinks as well." He motioned for the bartender to give the bill to Tuffnut.

Snotlout appeared in the doorway of the restroom, then walked back to his seat sulking. "Did I miss anything?" He mumbled, and Tuffnut pointed at the bar.

"Hiccup got the girl, Eret was kidnapped, I believe we are getting the bill right now, and we'll probably be without a ride home." Tuffnut answered, then pulled out his phone to send a quick text to his aunt.

"Oh," Snotlout mumbled, a second later he arched a brow as Hiccup opened the door for the blonde woman who had slapped him, then followed her out of the establishment. They heard the roar of Hiccup's mustang as he drove off with the woman, and sighed knowing that they were stuck with the bill.

They split the bill, and waited for 15 minutes when 'la cucaracha' was blared from a horn outside. "Our ride is here!" Tuffnut exclaimed happily and then waved to the woman, wearing big pink rimmed glasses, behind the wheel. "Snotlout meet aunt Matilda." Reluctantly, Snotlout opened the side door of the van while Tuffnut got in the passenger seat.

"So you think your friends will be okay?" Astrid asked, bringing Hiccup out of his thoughts.

"Ehh…probably." He waved his free hand around dismissively. "Tuffnut would likely just call one of his crazier relatives. I'm not getting my hopes up about Eret though." They shuddered at the implications.

"I doubt Ruff will go easy on him."

He nodded his agreement, then sped up as they traveled along an empty road. They glanced to each other as they traveled from streetlight to streetlight, and made small talk about themselves. Hiccup ended up dropping her off at her apartment. He was about to leave, but she pulled out a pen from her purse, and wrote her number on his wrist.

Hiccup woke up groggily, face down in his pillow, due to the incessant beeping. He whacked the alarm on the nightstand next to him but the beeping still continued. Hiccup lifted his head and then saw that it was his phone.

"Hello?" was said as Hiccup tried to stifle a yawn.

"Cuz! You gotta help me!" Was yelled through the receiver as Hiccup had to hold the phone away from his ear.

"Snotlout? What ar-" But Hiccup was cut off as Snotlout frantically continued.

"You gotta help me! I'm somewhere in Tijuana!"

"What are you doing there?!" Hiccup shouted now fully awake.

"I have no idea!" Snotlout yelled and Hiccup could hear voices approaching from another room. "Tuffnut wanted me to meet the rest of his family and for Thor knows what reason I agreed! They are having a family reunion here! Dear Odin this is too much Thornston!" Snotlout yelled and then he was cut off.

Hiccup looked at his phone and decided to call Eret. It looked like they would be taking a little roadtrip. The phone rang but no one picked up. Hiccup frowned before realizing that Ruffnut still had Eret.

Hiccup thought it would just be easier to tug Eret from Ruffnut's clutches and with a sigh he got dressed for the day. The trip to Ruffnut's apartment took approximately 20 minutes and Hiccup saw a familiar face enter the building before him.

"Astrid!" Hiccup called out happily, and jogged, as much as having one leg allowed, towards her. "Good morning."

"Good morning" Astrid said and smiled when she saw who it was. "What brings you here?"

"Hopefully collecting my friend." Hiccup said as they rode the elevator up. "And you?"

"Ruffnut called me late last night, apparently something was happening and she was packing? I think?." She replied.

Astrid and Hiccup both noticed the neon orange note taped to Ruffnut's apartment door when they finally reached their destination.

"Gone to Vegas, don't wait up." Hiccup read and then raised his brow.

"Sooooo, what do we do now?" Astrid asked as she let out a sigh at her friend's antics.

"Coffee?" Hiccup asked with a hopeful look.

"Sure," Astrid happily replied. "It's a date"

Both Hiccup and Astrid left the building in search of a good coffee shop, completely forgetting about their friends as they amicably chatted.

 _Somewhere in Tijuana, Mexico_

" _Where the hell is Hiccup!" Snotlout wailed as several Thornston kids had strung him up, covered him in silly string, and were using him as a pinata._

 _Somewhere in Las Vegas, Nevada_

 _Eret woke up groggily and looked to his left where he saw a smirking Ruffnut laying in sexy lingerie next to him. "Hi Handsome." Ruffnut said causing Eret to shriek._

 _Back to Hiccup and Astrid_

"I think we forgot something," Hiccup pondered as he handed Astrid her Double Mocha Latte, he was holding a tray with two blueberry muffins on top.

"Oh," Astrid held up a finger, "napkins for the muffins."


End file.
